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Why am I lonely? Lack of social connections hurts Americans' mental health.
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Date:2025-04-12 19:11:49
We need a new way to think about mental health − one that recognizes every person’s role in tackling the crisis that surrounds us.
We all know this crisis exists. After the COVID-19 pandemic, record numbers of people have reported mental health challenges. About 20% of U.S. adults − nearly 60 million Americans − have a diagnosable mental illness. Nearly 40% of high school students − and half of high school girls − say their mental health has struggled in recent years. Anxiety, depression and suicide have soared. So has addiction, which about 1 in 5 Americans now struggle with.
Amid this crisis, government at all levels is desperately trying to make a difference, mainly through new programs and funding streams. President Joe Biden’s proposed 2024 budget, for instance, envisions a 44% increase in federal spending on the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. In the State of the Union address, he called for funding “more mental health workers.”
We need more than increased spending to help with the mental health problem
And states like Florida and Virginia are now spending record amounts on mental health services.
Yet more money and more workers aren’t silver bullets. It’s true that America has just one mental health professional for every 350 people who need help, but there’s no credible path to close that gap. Even if we could, more than half of people with mental health challenges still avoid care because of social stigma.
That helps explain why big federal funding increases before the pandemic didn’t make much of a difference − mental health challenges continued to rise.
Clearly, some root cause is going unaddressed.
Hence the need for a new approach. The mental health advocates and substance abuse experts whom my organization has worked with over the past decade show the way. They prove that the mental health crisis isn’t just a clinical crisis. It’s really a crisis of community.
To be sure, clinical settings and clinical tools are essential for many people with mental health disorders. But it’s also true that mental health is ultimately about psychological well-being. Everyone is looking for a life of meaning, and finding that life requires a supportive community.
Americans increasingly feel isolated and lonely
The famous psychologist Abraham Maslow said it better than I can. Based on his experience treating tens of thousands of patients, he realized that mental health challenges ultimately arise when people’s deeper needs aren’t met. Most notably, when people lack relationships, belonging and love, they get lonely, leading to anxiety and depression. Left unchecked, loneliness can ruin someone’s life.
What’s happening in America supports Maslow’s theory. Last year, the U.S. surgeon general called loneliness an “epidemic,” and an American Psychiatric Association poll conducted this January found that a third of of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year.
About 30% of millennials have zero best friends, while Generation Z has been called “the loneliest generation.” The situation is so bad that some in Gen Z have posted “friendship applications” on social media.
My generation's isolation is real:Gen Z doesn't care about sports. That's part of a bigger problem.
No wonder mental health is plummeting. Tens of millions of people don’t have the relationships that provide meaning in daily life. No amount of federal money − no number of mental health workers or programs − will solve that problem. The real solution is communities coming together and people reaching out to one another, in a spirit of mutual support.
I’ve seen this truth play out nationwide.
The Phoenix, which promotes sobriety and fights social isolation, is helping thousands of people beat substance abuse through a supportive community that’s often focused on physical fitness.
The Confess Project is training barbers and beauty industry professionals to be sort of paraprofessional mental health counselors, forging stronger bonds with millions of people through their everyday work, particularly among communities of color that have stigmas related to mental health.
Then there’s Give an Hour, in which mental health professionals help train people to be informal “peer supporters.”
Relationships, mental health support make a difference
It turns out that the combination of relationships and mental health support makes a remarkable difference.
These efforts are promising − but not nearly enough. Loneliness continues to soar, and with rising political polarization and social-media-driven isolation, this crisis looks set to continue getting worse.
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As it does, more and more Americans will experience mental health challenges. While many will certainly need clinical help, let’s realize that the worst thing we can do is to expect others to solve this crisis.
The best thing we can do is to come alongside them ourselves.
Evan Feinberg is chair of the Stand Together Foundation and senior vice president of Stand Together.
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